On Flappy Things and Being a “Fattie”

So last night I was getting ready for bed, changing into pjs and my darling, loving 7-year old and I had the following conversation:

7YO:  Mom, what are those flappy things on your thigh?

Me: Those are my thighs, honey.

7YO: Noooo, not your leg, the flappy things near the top of them

Me:  Those are my part of my legs, honey, they are my thighs.  This is what happens when people are overweight.

7YO:  Oooooohhhh, you should lose weight on your thighs.

In addition, a friend of mine, tried to set me up with a guy today.  He sent me the guys info and some pics and I sent back my info and some pics to forward to the guy.  The guy emailed me a short while later, with his number and we spoke on the phone.  We had a number of things in common, it sounded very promising and the guy asked me for some pictures.  Apparently, they hadn’t gotten forwarded to him.  I forwarded 2 pics and he wrote back saying that I’m pretty and have a nice smile.  Both of which I like to think are true.  10 minutes later I get another email saying, “I know this is awkward since we already spoke, but I’m sorry, I don’t think this will work out”.

I can suppose something other than my pics turned him off, but I can’t think of anything.  Before the pics he was seemed interested and after the pics, not so much.

Between my daughter and this guy, my ego is a bit bruised.

I hate being judged on my looks.  It makes me, the me who is so talented, accomplished and smart, feel so little and worthless.  I have overcome and accomplished so many things, and all that matters at the end of the day are my cheekbones and waistline. 

What a way to diminish the humanity of another person.  By a waistline.  Whatever I am, things I do, build, succeed in are not as important as my size.  I wonder, when I’m dead, will people remember me or my gut?

It hurts.